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Who can we really trust? 5 tips and 3 insights for untruths in the workplace

Konrad Wothe/Solent News Who can we really trust? 5 tips and 3 insights for untruths in the workplace img 0617 e1434557722164Two recent, high profile stories have got me thinking about lies in business.

Honesty and integrity are among my core values, so I’ve always found it fascinating to see how people’s actions demonstrate where their moral compass is orientated. We all know actions speak louder than words, and we also know that we ALL lie in some way.

So which stories have prompted this blog? Firstly (and obviously) the FIFA debacle and disgraceful leadership of Sepp Blatter. And secondly, an older story reignited; a new film about Lance Armstrong (The Program) told from the perspective of David Walsh, the Sunday Times journalist who spent 14 years trying to expose him.

Both Armstrong and Blatter have told barefaced, whopping lies. Over and over again. People who tried to stand up to them were quashed, ridiculed or ostracised. It makes my blood run cold to see the footage of their bold, blatant lies. All told with utter conviction.

So, given these two stories, I thought I’d share a few interesting articles on lying, and my personal top five tips on dealing with lies in the workplace.

Lie-spotting: This TED talk by Pamela Meyer opens with the disturbing fact that on any given day we’re lied to from ten to two-hundred times. You might think you’re quite good at spotting the little things that give away a lie (e.g. not looking someone in the eye). But watch this talk – there are some surprising ‘lie-tells’.

I like Meyer’s assertion that honesty is a value worth preserving. She offers us the option of moving from lie-spotting to truth seeking, and ultimately trust building.

Liars in the workplace: For some reason dishonesty in the workplace makes me angrier than people lying outside work. On reflection, I think that’s because in my personal life I can choose to cast out big fat liars. At work, it’s not so easy to avoid them. Here are a couple of interesting articles:

11 ways to spot a psychopath at work: The concept of psychopathic traits being part of what makes a great leader has become a popular topic of debate in recent years. Being a liar comes in at no5 in this article on the ways to spot a psychopath.

“A tendency to misrepresent the facts while appearing plausible and reasonable, along with a lack of guilt or anxiety over telling lies is another hallmark of psychopathic behaviour”.

If you read this and realise you are working for a psychopath, there is a lot of advice online on how to make the relationship as productive as it can be.

3 steps to deal with someone who takes credit for your work:  This article from Jo Miller of BeLeaderly.com has some great advice on this. It’s possibly one of the most common examples of lying in the workplace. Miller’s tips show you how to deal with it when it happens and set the record straight.

Here are my top five tips for dealing with lies in the workplace.

  1. Be careful about what you perceive to be a lie: Sometimes people are just taking different things out of the same meeting/discussion. We all experience life in a way that is unique to us, based on a complex range of psychological patterns and experience. A good place to start is to consider what is fact, versus what is interpretation of that fact, before you leap in and confront a lie.
  1. Choose your battles: If you tried to deal with every workplace lie you’d be exhausted. Choose to deal with those people who have told lies that have an impact that is really important to you. One other point, don’t take on battles for other people or you could end up becoming the victim!
  1. Be realistic about the effect of calling-out a liar: By this I don’t mean avoid calling them out. I just mean think about what will happen next. What do you want the outcome of your ‘post-lie’ conversation to be? Sadly, some organisations have toxic cultures of dishonesty which allow people to blame ‘the company’ for their dishonesty. If this is the case, be prepared to ask the liar to comment on their personal responsibility for the lie.
  1. Remain calm and have your facts straight: If you’ve decided there is a lie that it is important for you to confront, work hard to put your emotions aside when you talk to the person concerned. Think carefully about what you want to get out of the conversation (e.g. is it just an apology to you, a wider apology, or a new/different course of action). Keep the conversation on track and focussed on the matter in hand. Talking is important, never try to deal with something like this via email.
  1. Be clear on your personal boundaries: If you are asked to lie/behave in a way that conflicts with your own values and beliefs then speak up as soon as you can. You could choose to adopt the ‘I was just following orders’ approach if you like, but your soul will gradually be eaten away by the differences between your values and what the company is asking you to do.

Good luck.

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When your motivation fails: 4 tips…

Spaniel When your motivation fails: 4 tips... spaniel

People often comment on my self-discipline and motivation. I’m hoping they’re qualities that will serve me well as a newly self-employed person.

A few friends and colleagues made interesting predictions about my self-employed future (mostly very positive). One of them related to my decision to maintain my 40 minute walk to work. As I’ll be based from home a fair bit my walk to work will now be a circular run or power-march to and from my house.  One of my friends (also self-employed) laughed and said “haha, sounds good, but it’ll last a week”. Then she stopped herself and said “Actually, that’s me. We’re talking about you. You’ll probably do it for ever!”

I know I’m pretty good with self discipline. I can generally motivate myself to go running when I’m feeling rubbish, tackle that ‘hairy horrible’ challenge before the easier one, eat one square of chocolate and then not eat the whole bar. So her comment got me thinking. What do I do that helps with my self discipline? There are many many things, but as the comment related to running/power-walking (and I did the Bristol 10k last weekend) here are four simple tips to motivate yourself to go out and break a sweat.

These are obviously focussed on exercise – but you get the drift. Think about where you need to kick start your motivation and break your thinking/actions down into similar steps to those here.

  1. Lycra is your friend – stop thinking about the exercise and take the first, small step; put on your kit and see how you feel. I bet you’ll make it out the door.
  2. Future focus – don’t focus on how you’ll feel during the exercise. Focus all your thinking on how good you’ll feel afterwards. You know the saying; “no-one ever regretted going for a run”.
  3. Don’t obsess about your performance – It doesn’t matter if your last session was good or bad. What counts is how this performance is going to be. If you don’t feel great, just do what you can. Once you’re out there, you might even surprise yourself.
  4. Change your environment – listen to a different playlist, do your normal run in the opposite direction. Drive (or cycle) somewhere to start in a different place. Mix it up. You’ll enjoy it more.

Happy sweating!

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Spring clean your attitude: 11 simple questions to ask yourself

FullSizeRender Spring clean your attitude: 11 simple questions to ask yourself fullsizerenderIf you’re finding yourself feeling negative about work, asking yourself these questions will focus you in the positives and help you understand what motivates you. That in turn will help you appreciate what you have, or maybe set you on the path to change something…

In Samantha Rodman’s blog in the Huffington Post she looked at how the principles of positive psychology could help children be happy. The advice can equally be applied to our working lives.

For this blog I took the same questions Samantha suggested, but looked at them from a work perspective. So here they are. Eleven questions to ask yourself to spring clean your attitude.

  1. What was my favourite part of today?

A habit of focusing in on the best thing that happened in any given day (rather than the worst) is a known way of improving our positivity. Don’t ignore the negative, this is about accentuating the positive.

  1. What am I grateful for?

There is a strong correlation between happiness and gratitude, so this is a powerful question to ask yourself. So even if you can’t think of a good part of the day, perhaps you’re grateful that you have such great colleagues/a great boss who support you through the tough work times?

  1. What am I going to do about that?

When you have a problem do you try and sort it out, or do you immediately turn to someone else to give you a solution? Happy people are people who think of problems as surmountable, and think of themselves as effective problem solvers. So try and think about options to overcome your problem, and then perhaps sound out other people.

  1. How did that make me feel?

The concept of Emotional Intelligence is now well understood.  An essential part of this, which contributes to happiness, is being able to notice and express your own emotions. If you can identify what you’re feeling, you can make sense of it, you can process it, and you can obtain support from others. So if something good (or bad happened) as work, ask yourself this question. It’s all about using information from your feelings effectively.

  1. What do I think he/she feels?

Empathy is another key component of Emotional Intelligence. In any situation, you can cultivate empathy by asking yourself what someone else feels. Empathy will allow you to have stronger interpersonal relationships.

  1. How can I look on the bright side?

So you’re down in the dumps and facing a real work-based challenge. In any situation, you can teach yourself that there are positives. Keep asking yourself the question. There is always a bright side. An example from my mum: Dad’s hair was coming out due to chemo, and she said ’at least it’s spring so the birds can use it for their nests’. Perfect.

  1. What part of that can I learn more about?

Even if you’re an old pro at your work, look for something new to learn. Happy people are people who are curious and always learning.

  1. What do I want to do on the weekend?

Research shows that anticipation of positive experiences brings more happiness than the experiences themselves. So encourage your work life balance by planning things. And if you’re having a tough week, don’t wait till the weekend. Plan a treat (walking round the park, a nice meal) once you’ve completed the tough task on your list.

  1. What can I do to help/to make someone happy?

Research shows that giving and being kind releases oxytocin and endorphins, so it’s like a natural high. Being at work doesn’t mean you need to switch off this thought. Little things mean a lot.

  1. What do you want to do outside today?

We all know that exercise, fresh air and sunlight release endorphins, boost mood and regulate circadian rhythms. But at work we can spend too long at our desks. So how can you get outside today? Even for 10 minutes…

  1. When do you feel happiest?

If you direct your attention to the experiences at work that you most enjoy, you will discover/remind yourself why you’re there, and help you identify if there are ways to get more of what makes you happy at work.

I hope you found this useful? As always, let me know what you think.

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The pow(d)er of now: mindful lessons from the slopes

lech-snowy_864 The pow(d)er of now: mindful lessons from the slopes lech snowy 864

The pow(d)er of now: mindful lessons from the slopes

After a week in the Austrian Alps, I’ve been of reminded how refreshing it is to be living in the moment, entirely focussed on what ‘s happening in the now.

I always choose activity based holidays. I find they’re the best way to switch off. In a way, they create a kind of enforced mindfulness. You focus on the task in hand (whether it’s skiing, cycling, trekking etc). You’ve no doubt heard about the concept of mindfulness. It has its roots in Buddhist meditative practices, and was largely adapted to be more accessible and help people deal with anxiety, stress and depression. However, a growing list of organisations (BT, Google, JP Morgan, PwC, Capital One, Transport for London and the Home Office) are using it as they see the benefits in improving concentration and memory, unlocking creativity and boosting leadership potential. So having now come back to reality, I got thinking about how I can be more mindful on a regular basis:

  1. Exercise: It’s easy to forget that the benefits of exercise extend beyond the physiological. But do you really focus on what you’re doing? As I thought about this blog, I realised that listening to TED talks while walking (which I started doing a few months ago) wasn’t allowing me to focus on the activity itself. So I’ve decided to ditch the ear-buds and opt for silence on some walks; focussing on the surroundings and letting my thoughts come and go. (I’ll always need a sound-track for running though).
  2. Devices: I hardly looked at my phone while skiing, and felt better for not checking it all the time; we check our phones on average every 6 minutes. So how would it be to ‘tune out’ for an hour to really focus on something? In an earlier blog I referenced Pico Lyer’s ‘Art of Stillness’ where he suggests one day a week of taking yourself off-grid. Nice idea, but for most of us unthinkable. I’ve adapted his idea, so in the evenings (Sunday in particular), I try to have at least 2 hours without using a device (and that includes my macbook). It’s hard. Sadly, the only way I can manage this is to physically put the devices in another room and turn them off. But it gives me a sense of freedom and time that feels good.
  3. Just sitting: When did you last sit down at home and just sit? No TV, no radio, no book/magazine. Just you and your thoughts (and maybe a coffee). I wanted to see if I found this useful in any way. It actually feels very alien to start with. I found I was thinking about what I was going to do when I stopped sitting. Not really the idea! But I persevered. Now I find a five-ten minute ‘sitting time’ really does rejuvenate, and you may be surprised about where your thoughts go.
  4. The little things: There has been so much written about enjoying the little things in life. But it really is true. We can be on automatic pilot so much that we miss the small changes and events in our everyday surroundings. Being present and noticing the little things can change your mood, make you smile and encourage you to engage with new people.
  5. Environment: We all feel energised by holidays, and part of that is the change in environment. But you don’t have to go on holiday to get the same sense of rejuvenation. Try altering your route to work, getting the bus part way and walking, or exploring new areas of a city you’ve lived in for many years. Alternatively simply find the nearest park, hill or coast and spend a little time with mother nature, moving away from your daily routine.
  6. Food: One of my work colleagues did a short presentation on mindfulness the other week (we have a ’15 minutes of fame’ initiative where anyone in the agency can talk on any subject). She got everyone to eat chocolate ‘mindfully’. Brilliant. It’s all too easy to shove food down our necks and see it as fuel. See how different it feels when you focus on what you’re eating and think about the flavours.

So, these are a few personal ideas on a subject that’s been widely written about. I hope you find some of it useful.

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7 ways to create the environment for success

Success 7 ways to create the environment for success successYou won’t have clicked on this article unless you want to do the best job you can. A great place to start.

I’ve written this ‘how to’ from the viewpoint of someone who’s working with a company vision/direction that’s been set by someone else.

However, if you’re a business leader responsible for setting direction, this is still worth a read. After all, your vision won’t be realised unless you help shape the right environment.

So, as an employee, how do you create the environment for your success in the context of an overall company vision?

1) Be very clear on your objectives

This sounds really obvious, but in many companies, the more senior you are, the less focus there is on clear objectives. Peter Drucker’s SMART approach from 1954 still holds true. I recommend you contribute to writing your own objectives so they are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound. It’s also worth reviewing them every three months. Nothing stands still for long any more.

2) Identify the key enablers for you to succeed

Now you know what your objectives are, what do you need to achieve them? Think broadly about this; start with your own capabilities, then look at your team, your organisation, and external factors. Identify what you have control or influence over, and look at strategies and actions to optimise all enablers towards your goals. If something is important, but you don’t have control or influence over it, discuss it with your superior to agree a way forward.

3) Check that your compatriots have objectives that align with yours

It’s highly likely that you’ll identify that some of your colleagues are enablers for your success. Arrange to chat with them, share objectives and check that their own objectives align with yours. All too often I’ve seen conflicting (or duplicated) personal objectives cause problematic team dynamics that undermine the environment for success.

4) Communicate and collaborate

Extending from the point above, share your objectives with peers and your team. This will ensure clarity of focus and help foster teamwork and collaboration. Also, if you have a genuine interest in other teams/departments you’ll improve your understanding of company dynamics and how to work to best effect with different stakeholders.

5) Know your onions

Do everything you can to remain expert in your field. That may mean formal study, networking, reading/watching talks. External inputs will keep your perspective fresh and broaden your mind.

6) Seek forgiveness not permission

Assuming you’re not a crazy maverick and will always act with good intentions, take hold of the reigns to achieve your objectives.

7) Navigate well through failure

Not everything goes to plan. There are a zillion quotes you can find that will tell you failure is part of business (and life). How you learn from and navigate through failure is a key part of creating success.

Good luck! Do share any more tips, or thoughts on those I’ve noted.

Zingg

Your time is precious. So make sure you’re not just working IN your business. Devote time to working ON your business. What needs to happen to unlock the potential needed to take the next step? I will help you focus, and challenge assumptions that are holding you back. I’ll support you in uniting individuals and teams towards bold business goals.

Zingg on the web